I Like Cheese.


So it took me 5 years to post a new blog entry. I can explain. I was exploring my theory that blog writing is too disposable – too easily lost and forgotten. I decided to hand carve my 103rd blog post into stone instead of posting it online to give it greater sense of permanence. There were many flaws in my plan that I did not foresee.

For one, a carved slab of granite gets considerably less visibility than a web published blog, so readership was way down.

Also, I probably should have composed an outline or a rough draft before breaking out the chisel. It was riddled with ‘chiselos’ (typos made with a chisel) and the material was far too dated to ever repost. Towards the end I became slightly mentally unbalanced as you might imagine when after years of solitary chisel work I tapped the mallet just a bit too hard and the entire stone cracked and crumbled while I was attempting to correct a ‘chiselo’ of the word “cheese.” Needless to say this is not the first time cheese has caused me great mental anguish (as anyone else who has a dairy intolerance can surely relate). 

Everything I had worked for had literally crumbled before my eyes and left me in a pile of dust, rubble and regrets, and absolutely nothing to show for it. All in all I’d say the past five years of my life have been as productive as the rest of my years, so I guess I am still on par.

I have had very little time to do much of anything else during my Blog Stone Age Era, so forgive me if my present and future posts lack meaningful insight and life experience. People  tell me that now I often make excessive and seemingly unrelated references to, and jokes about the properties of different stones and their related carving tools — that they don’t ‘get’ my humor anymore, but sheesh – I need that kind of criticism like I need a No.5 chisel on a slab of sandstone! (upon re-reading I realize that most people will not understand that joke, but trust me, the guys at the quarry are peeing their pants laughing at that succulent morsel of comedy!)

Anyway – on to the main subject matter of this blog. I’m back. I will be blogging about all of my discoveries and observations about the new and fascinating world outside of the rock I have been carving and living under for the past few years. 

Myspace blogs may have gone extinct, but I was able to extract some DNA from a mosquito trapped in amber. What could possibly go wrong?

Welcome to Jennrassic Park! (<——-proof positive that my writing skills and comedic ability has suffered greatly during the hiatus.)
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